Many of you who have read my blog for a while now, know that my Mom passed away from gastric cancer in 2009. It was one of the most difficult seasons of my life.
You might also know that I’ve recently been painting my dining room hutch. As I was painting, I decided to clean out the drawers. One of them is a “catch all” for things I’m not sure what to do with.
As I was cleaning the drawer out, I came across this cell phone. This was my Mom’s cell phone. This was the phone I saw her use all the time. I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotions. I could hardly continue painting Friday night because the tears would not stop!
It’s funny how one thing like a cell phone can catch me off guard and the pain of missing my Mom becomes almost unbearable.
What I’ve learned over the last several years is that I prepare myself for the expected things. I know I’m going to miss her on her birthday, at Thanksgiving, Christmas etc. So I prepare my heart. I pray more intensely and I get through them without falling apart.
But it’s those unexpected moments, like finding a cell phone that throw me for a loop. So what do I do?
I cry out to Jesus! I go to the one who can comfort me. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, Give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! He is the Father who gives tender love. All comfort comes from him. He comforts us in all our troubles.
No one understands my feelings of loss and sadness better than Jesus. I can go to Him and tell him everything and there I find grace, and mercy and peace.
This is an older song by Third Day, but is exactly what I needed to hear.
Have you lost someone you love? Do you have those moments that catch you off guard?
*****My picture was taken with my Samsung Galaxy Camera! It’s easy to take pictures with this camera.
Hi Michelle!
Thank you for stopping by!
I’m so sorry you lost your Mom so young. I know that hard to be a very difficult time for you and your family. Then a month later God blessed you with a precious new life. He is faithful!!
We will always miss our Moms but one day we will see them again. How wonderful will that be??
Have a blessed day,
Cyndi
Cyndi,
I love your tender heart. God bless you. Please take a minute to listen to this song by The Crabb Family. To know we will see those we love again, is such a comfort. http://youtu.be/Oet_Avo79CQ
Hi Cyndi – I just found your blog and I love it. This post got to me as I lost my mother when I was only 27 in 1989(one month before our second daughter was born). It was very sudden and I never got to say goodbye. (She had a cerebral hemorage and lost consciousness almost immediately.) I would be okay for a while then I’d come across something that would open up the floodgates of tears. Once it was restaurant that we ate at not long before she passed away and the next time it was seeing one of her handwritten recipes. Thankfully it does get easier as time passes but it never really goes away. You will always miss your Mama. I’m thankful both of our Moms knew the Lord and we’ll see them again and I’m thankful for the comfort and the peace that passes all understanding. Prayers and blessings to you.
Lovely third day song. Such a touching story about the phone and your mom, I am glad you have Jesus to support you in times like this. My mom is still with me but I am quite sure my emotions will be similar to you one day. Big Hugs and blessing to you today!
My father died Jan 4, 2010. I still keep my cell phone from that time as I have a picture of him from two days before on it. I understand you can now go to Best Buy and they’ll take those pictures off your phone and put them on a disc for a nominal fee. I keep that phone in a drawer next to my bed. Funny how we just need that little reminder once in awhile.
Just found your website and love love love it! It suprises me how much more modestly women dress in the South. I’m from Northern Minnesota. I LOVE it and will be following your site and soaking in all your tips! Thank you for all your posts!!! I’m a fan!
Cyndi, Bless your dear heart! I prayed for you as soon as I read this. My mom just turned 80, and her health has really started to deteriorate. My sisters and I wonder how long she will be with us, so we treasure every day.
Shirley I’m so sorry for your loss. I have 6 nephews that I adore so i know that your loss is great.
God is faithful and He will comfort you during your loss.
Blessings,
Cyndi
Wow that made me cry! Great song! Thanks you for sharing.
Blessings,
Cyndi
Sometimes we need a good cry, don’t we? Thanks for stopping by Karyn!
Blessings,
Cyndi
What a wonderful feeling to know our parents are with Jesus. It helps us get through those Waves of Grief!
Thanks for stopping by Paula,
cyndi
Bertie I’m so sorry. I know you are still feeling a lot of grief! Time will help and of course Jesus.
I still want to pick the phone up and call Mom. That never goes away!
Thanks for stopping by,
Cyndi
It does bring us closer to them and we need those moments, don’t we? Thanks for sharing Tracey.
Blessings,
Cyndi
Thanks Heidi!! He is the great comforter!
Blessings,
Cyndi
Terri I’m so sorry. You have your Mom’s physical body but not her mind and I know that’s hard. I also know you needed her and she would want to be there if she could.
I’m so thankful you have Jesus to comfort you!
Blessings,
Cyndi
Yay, Su I’m so glad she knew Jesus and you will see her again!
Thanks for stopping by!
Cyndi
Absolutely Lindy, Jesus does give us hope!! What would we do without Him!!
Thanks for stopping by!
Cyndi
I think I favor my Mom too Katie. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Blessings,
Cyndi
Judy thank you! Mom went to heaven on Sept. 22nd. I do get a little more emotional around this time of the year because I remember what we were going through.
Thanks for stopping by!
Cyndi
Amanda you were so young when you lost your Mom. I know it was difficult.
Yes, time does heal. I’ve often said if I still felt the pain that i felt the first year after losing Mom, I don’t think I could make it. That pain was almost unbearable.
Thanks for stopping by,
Cyndi
Carla I’m so sorry for your loss. That had to be unbelievably hard to lose both of your parents. I’m so thankful we have Jesus to carry us through!
Thanks for stopping by!
Cyndi
Yes!! We have Mom’s voice and video and they are treasures!!
Thanks for stopping by!
Cyndi
Kathy I read your story and I’m so sorry for your loss. I know losing a child has to be even harder. But I know you rejoice in the fact that he is with Jesus and healthy!
Thanks for stopping by,
Cyndi
Wow! We do have a very similar story. But you’re right, thank God we will see them again!!
Thanks for stopping by!
Cyndi
Lynn so happy that you have a sweet new gift. New life is so precious!!
Thanks for stopping by!
Cyndi
Cherish her Christina!! I’m so glad you still have her.
Blessings,
Cyndi
Vicki, I think we always need our Moms, don’t we? I cherish my dining room hutch too, it’s those things that help remind us of our Moms.
Thank you for sharing,
Cyndi
Laura I’m so sorry for your loss. No one understands until they’ve been through it. But I’m so thankful we have Jesus, I could not have gotten through it without Him.
Thanks for stopping by,
Cyndi
I know you’ve been there Cassie and understand. Thankfully they do pass!
Blessings,
Cyndi
Cyndi, you will never know how much your posting of the song meant to me, I lost a wonderful nephew last Wednesday to MS and it touched a great place in my heart. Thank you!
My dad passed away in March of 2009 and I think of him in some way or another each day. On Saturday, while traveling to visit our son, my husband was playing some songs he has recorded and this song randomly came on. It hit me very hard as my daughter, husband and I were singing along to the songs and this song came on. For me, it is times when I see someone or something that reminds me of my dad: a laugh, a man with a blue fishing hat on, a red truck with a boat and trailer on the hitch, Pall Mall red pack cigarettes…just strange and random things that remind me of him. This song spoke to me and I hope it speaks to you as well. 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtK38kVJ8wI
Hi Cyndi I lost my mum May 2008 I know exactly how your feeling. A mobile is such a personal thing Iam not surprised it set you off. Just glad you were at home and able to let it out. You’ve helped me out. I have a funeral tomorrow and as your story touched me, I too cried a lot! So might get through it better. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable time. X
I call those unexpected moments, Waves of Grief. When I lost my Dad a few years ago from Alzheimers disease, I thought that Father’s Day would be the hardest. But the first thought I had that morning was “My father is with our Heavenly Father.” I was barely awake and feel that the Spirit gave me that blessed thought. Then my first wave of grief happened when I was doing laundry and pulled my Daddy’s socks out of the dryer (my husband was using them.) I had to sit down and cry into those clean soft warm white tube socks!
Cyndi,
I lost my mom just five months ago and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. Sometimes just a thought about her can make me cry and other times I almost forget she’s gone and want to pick up the phone and call her. So I certainly understand how the tears came when you found her cell phone. May her memory be eternal!!!!
My mother passed in March 2009 and I know exactly that feeling. I was reading a book of hers and found a book mark with her writing on it… fell to pieces…but I don’t mind as it brings me close to her, even just for a moment!
Prayers for you, sweet friend… Jesus is the great comforter and he will sustain you during these unexpected times. Blessings… xo Heidi
Cyndi,
I completely understand the waves of unexpected grief. My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers 10 years ago. My children were 2 and 5 years old and I needed her so much but she went down very fast. She has not known me for many years now. I could not face this were it not for Jesus and his sustaining grace and mercy. Praying for you and all the others who left comments.
I understand completely! My mom has been gone 9 years but there are moments when a thought comes to mind or something that I know she would have loved, brings tears and a sense of how much I miss her. Albeit late in her life, I am so thankful she came to The Lord and take so much comfort in knowing I will see her again!!
Hi Cyndi,
I’m sorry, I know it is painful. I lost my dad in 2009.
The “catch me off guard” moments are tough. Mine have come when I’ve seen someone that looks like my dad. Just recently I heard someone that laughed like he did.
Even in death Jesus gives us hope, because we will see them again in heaven for eternity.
Praying for you Cyndi
Cyndie, i lost my mom in1997 , the same day Princess Di passed away. there is not a day, still, that goes by, that i dont think of her and look in the mirror and see her, as I look exactly like her at the same age! Thank you, bless you for sharing this Third Day song!
Cyndi, thanks for letting us share in your sorrow. I was just thinking about and praying for you and Traci, trying to recall the day of your mom’s home-going to heaven. When my sister and I wrote a book on pregnancy loss (my third child died at birth), we compared the unexpected triggers of grief to riding on a roller coaster blindfolded. You never know when those sharp turns will come with their assaults of fresh pain. My heart goes out to you, and I wish I could hand you a couple more soft, vintage hankies today. Praying for you and all the precious women who made comments.
I lost my mom in 1989 to breast cancer. She was 53 and I was 25 with 2 small children. She was my best friend. I, too, had those unexpected moments many, many times.
They don’t happen as often as they did for many years. They say that time heals, and that’s true, at least it has been for me. It’s not that I don’t miss her or wish she were here; I just don’t cry as often.
The anniversary of my mom going to heaven is coming up soon. On that day we will celebrate her by doing some of her favorite things: eating at a Mexican restaurant, baking tea cakes (large sugar cookies), and I will sew (her favorite hobby).
I’m so happy we can go to Jesus for comfort. My thoughts and prayers will be for you and for the ones that have lost parents, spouces, and children.
I lost both my mom and dad in a car accident in 1990. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of them and want to call them to share something or ask for their advice! My dad was a pipe smoker and he always smoked the same type of tobacco! We all love the smell it put out when he smoked his pipe! One time just a couple of years ago I was at the Mall of America and my husband and I passed a tobacco shop and I smelt that same tobacco that my dad used. I broke down and just couldn’t even tell my husband what was wrong! We went to a restaurant and he let me cry it out! Sometimes it’s memories like that just come out of nowhere! God seems to always carry me through those times! Blessed He is my Lord and Savior! Thanks for sharing.
So true! My 18 year old nephew was killed going home from college registration in 1993. He had called my mom the week before just to say hi and left a voicemail on her answering machine that was cassette at the time. We decided to keep that taped message and although it was initially hard to hear his voice, now we are so glad we can hear it when we need to. Everyone should record their loved ones voices at some time or keep a voicemail I’ve discovered. Memory Eternal!
I love how close you and your sister were with your mom. What a wonderful mother she must have been. I do have those moments sometimes. Our little boy passed away several years ago at the age of four and certain things can trigger tears for me.
Thank the Lord that we will see our loved ones again 🙂
Cyndi, my mom also passed away in 2009 from Pulmonary Fibrosis and she had the same cell phone!! Wow, your story is very similar to mine since I also found the phone cleaning our home office one day. I cried a lot that day too, looking her photos and remembering all the great times we had together. It’s so hard !! Thank God for the hope of an eternal life with Jesus, we will see our moms again!!!! Hugs to you.
I have lost several people I love including both my parents and my husband. The sense of loss is incredible! I agree that it is the unexpected things that bring memories that are the hardest. I am so thankful that we can cry out to Jesus, I don’t know how I would have survived without Him. Just recently on Aug 8 a new little granddaughter came into our family, the fact that she was born on what was her Grandpa’s birthday was a special blessing for all of us. Somehow knowing she shares the day with her grandpa who is no longer here takes some of the sting of loss from the day. I know he would have loved to share his birthday with her!
I am so greatful I still have my mother and I can’t imagine what it would be without her. This story still brought tears to my eyes… Hugs to you
I lost my mom nine years ago, very unexpectedly. I was only 36 years old and still needed her. It’s funny you mention your china hutch. I inherited my mom’s dining suite and even though it’s antique and we rarely use it or the china, it was hers and it comforts me having a piece of her still with me. She cherished it because it was one of the first nice purchases she made after she and my dad married. I cherish it because she loved it so much. The night after I brought it home and tried so meticulously to set it up like she had it in her house, I dreamed she was with me in the dining room, smiling, seeming very pleased that I had it. It’s a material thing and in the grand scheme of things, it probably isn’t important. But it’s a piece of her. I have since made it my ‘own’ with my style but I know she looks down on me and my family with joy. I also find comfort knowing she is happier than she was here and healthy, with all the things and people she loves in heaven and know that I will see her again.
Be blessed!
I lost my mom last October. I admire you and Traci so much for how you have faced the loss of your mom with so much faith and trust. I also love how y’all share honestly about how incredibly hard it is. I had NO idea before my mom died. It is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever lived through. I agree, those moments that catch you off guard are the worst because you don’t even know they are coming. I love your encouragement to cry out to Jesus — He truly is my one and only!!!!! Thanks for sharing! <3
Those unexpected times of grief are the absolute worst. Hope today is full of memories that bring smiles instead of tears.